A bit of history...

Call to prayer at the beginning
 of the  ceremony

As most of you know, the area of the world I live in used to be ruled under Saddam Hussein. I am not very good with my history, but I am going to try and give a brief background on the the area I am living and the trauma the local people I live amongst have experienced.

For years Saddam played an important role in the Baath Party which is an Arab political party in Iraq and Syria. Saddam worked his way into a high position in politics and became vice-president of the Baath Party in 1968 after they regained power over Iraq. In 1979, Saddam officially became president over Iraq.

One of my close friends who works
for the military She was on duty
keeping the place safe and
secure for the day's ceremonies.

Now, I am living in the northern area of this country which has been trying to free and be independent from the rest of Iraq for quite some time now. Saddam was not in favor of this, and made it clear to the locals of Northern, Iraq by wiping out complete villages of people. In 1988, he went as far as to drop gas bombs on a particular village which wiped out 4-5,000 civilians within 5 hours. These were his own people that he brutally controlled.

      A lot of other stuff has happened to the locals of Northern Iraq that I wish I could explain to you better, but basically this region has gone through massacres, genocides and plenty of hardships because of the dictatorship that oppressed this country for so long.

       On March 16th, 2013 the village that had been massacred by the chemical gas bombs and its surrounding cities and villages came together in remembrance of this horrific day that happened 25 years ago. I went with a good friend of mine and her parents to listen to speakers and musicians to remember this day. Twenty-five years seems like a long time for me because I still wasn't born when this genocide took place. But for some of our students, neighbors and other locals in the city this is a reality they had to live through. My best friend still remembers when her and her family packed up their things and fled to the neighboring country in 1991 during the Gulf War. Some of you reading this might still remember reading about this in the news as well...

         As dark as the remembrance day was, it was an unforgettable cultural experience. It makes me grateful for the protection that the Lord has covered me with so far, and grateful for the people here that things are so much better than it used to be. There is still lots of corruption, but this area has come a long ways in reestablishing themselves...even in the past year.


          I wish I was better at history so that I could fill you in even more about this area that I love and have called home the past year, but unfortunately what I have told you is about the extent of what I can remember as far as specific dates and details go. Thanks for reading and please remember to keep this area of the world in your "thoughts."








A short fragment of one of the only English speakers at the ceremony.

#ThingsKurdsSay

I can be a blunt person when I am with the right people...so I'm sorry to those that I have the type of relationship with that I can speak whatever is on my mind too. I also know people that are like this..not afraid to say what they're thinking as soon as they think it. 

But in all my years living in America, I have never heard some of the things I have heard since living here. (Which is okay, cause it's apart of the culture, and I've learned that what the women say to me or others around me are not meant to hurt or sound rude.)

Last summer I heard multiple times that I was gaining weight from one friend in particular. A couple other friends pointed out that I was getting fat...they call it the "Kurdish Belly" that you get from eating lots of rice and white bread. (They're words not mine, but it does make sense.) Praise the Lord that this is not something I have had to struggle with. Its only words and they are not harmful coming from these people. 

Before my friend got pregnant, her neighbors were always asking her why she is married and has no babies!? But first asked her if she was pregnant and then would ask why not!?

People are always asking ages and why we're single. 

We just heard a couple weeks ago that if you're a single woman over 30 you are considered to be disabled. My single female friends who are over around 30 are also asked what kind of condition they have or what is wrong with them..."Why aren't you married."

All of these can get annoying, but we learn to find humor in them. 

My favorite this past week was from a good friend of mine. Next week is Nawroz (a HUGE holiday that celebrates the Kurdish New Year) and at lunch on Sunday I was told from a friend that I need to fix my acne before the holiday. She kept saying it too..."You need to fix that." (Don't I wish it was that easy!)

It's so interesting how different cultures do different things. Even my extremely unfiltered friends know to never say anything like this to someones face (in America). I wonder what kind of things I have done or said that would be completely rude to them that I still don't realize how horrible it is to say in this place. I'm sure there has been plenty!

#ThingsKurdsSay

One Year!

Can you believe it?! It has officially been one year since I traveled as far away from home as possible to live in the Middle East. I landed in this big city located in Iraqi Kurdistan exactly a year ago with weird idea's and expectations of how this year would go. Some of my expectations were met, but most of my experience has been different than I thought it would be.

The first week of being here was a hard transition. I came with a team from Salem who lead a prayer/work retreat for the workers here. The retreat went well, but I was a wreck. I had been so ready to leave Salem that I didn't fully grasp the fact that it was going to be a whole year until I would see my family and closest friends again. I couldn't sleep at night (and it was because of jet lag. Multiple things were flying around and the thought of enduring that sort of spiritual stuff all year long freaked me  out,) and I kept thinking how different the team was from me. I was worried that I wasn't going to be fed at all spiritually and that I wouldn't connect with the team. It felt like I was watching a National Geographic documentary on the Middle East and like this culture didn't actually exist. Everything I was taking in about the culture was something I was only reading from a book.

If you didn't already know, God is amazing. I spent that first week writing my own Psalms, singing lyrics like "In the chaos, in confusion I know You're Sovereign still. In the moment of my weakness You give me strength to do Your will. When you call, I won't delay" and trusting that God did not make me go through the last eight months to get here and break down. Knowing that He was with me and would equip me to do this work brought comfort, but there was no honeymoon phase for me. Just a lot of tears.


But God in His Sovereignty has given me the strength to live in a male-dominant culture. He has equipped me to teach English; a language I can speak but don't know why I say things the way I do besides that "It sounds good that way." He has made it possible for me to not only live with my roommate who is as similar to me as the color white is similar to black. Be He also taught me how to love her deeply. He has been teaching me that rest is healthy and important. He has revealed countless truths to me, and stretched me in knowledge of His Word. He has lead me into relationships with the local people here that is changing the way I view service and hospitality. He has given me a love for a group of people that a good portion of the US despises and thinks I am a nut case for ever doing life with.

I get goosebumps thinking about my calling to come here. Its been a full year. A FULL YEAR!! Where has the time gone?! This year has been hard, amazing, dramatic, beautiful, painful, unforgettable, life changing, dry, restful, life giving, and so much more. I am beyond thankful for this past year, and I'm looking forward to the next three months. Next year is blurry, confusing and extremely unknown. But I'm getting more excited for it because HE knows! His ways have been freaking hard but SO amazing thus far. Therefore, I'm trusting Him with the rest!

Thanks for journeying with me this past year! I ask that you continue with me through prayer especially. Three more months in the KStan, and there is still a lot of work to be done. I have multiple friends who have heard, but still not accepted His word as truth and made the switch from Death to Life. So PLEASE keep them in your prayers. These people mean so much to me, and more to our Father!

In the loop....

Before you being reading this, recognize I have to be careful with using certain words. That is why it might seem like I am using interesting ways to explain something simple. 

During my travels over the last couple years, I have been a lot better at updated my Facebook wall, or the private group I made for while I am living in the Middle East. I know its horrible that I only have a few months left here and I am just now getting better at updating my blog so that those who do not have Facebook can actually be informed with whats going on.

So read the previous posts of the last year, and stay tuned for more info. with whats to come.

but for now...this is whats going on.

My one year commitment to the Life Center in Kstan is approaching. Thankfully, I am able to stay until June, so I haven't packed any bags or said good byes yet. But the time to return is approaching fast.

When I went home for Christmas, I looked into some options for what is after this. I prayed that my few weeks back in the States would give me answers. I have been back in Kstan for 6 weeks since Christmas, and there are still no specific answers, but some doors have been shut.

I spent this week emailing to a billion schools about programs I am interested in and what kind of financial help each of those schools could give me. I also made a list to compare what the initial tuition is and what program I would study there.

This week, I think I want to do counseling, or something along those lines. But, it changes every so often between that, public health or some kind of specific social science major (sociology, social work, psych, ect.) I also thought strongly about doing a School of Biblical Studies (SBS) through YWAM to get the biblical training that it very important to have for the direction of work I feel very strongly called to do.

Which, incase your don't know me that well and are curious as to what that is, it's working with people.  Which could look working in a specific type of "fellowship," pouring into those who already believe, reaching out to those who have not accepted truth in the States, or coming back overseas. With overseas work, its best to have a specific training that would make it easier to get into certain countries. (Education, engineering, nursing, public health, counseling, this sort of thing.)
Either working stateside, or internationally..there a lot of different options as far as this line of work is concerned because the need is everywhere.

So, I have a heart for people, specifically youth. I am a helper. I love sports and music. I'll go anywhere and do whatever the Lord asks of me. But right now, all I am hearing is one season at a time, and trust me with that. So no SPECIFIC answers.
                Yet.

Here are the doors I've been knocking on this week:
Moody (MBI) located in Chicago.
     Degree choice offered: Ministering to victims of Sexual Exploitation.
     This school is very serious about being intentional with sharing the truth. Tuition is free, but room and board is not, and is not cheap as far as living expenses go. This one has turned my head the most the last few days, but is difficult to get accepted into.

Liberty University in Virginia.
     They are a big school and offer a degree for almost any of the things I am looking into..
     Though they were founded on ultra conservative doctrines, I have heard nothing but great things of the school from those who have been attending recently. They are cheaper than any Alliance school, but more than double the price of Moody.

Simpson University located in Redding, California.
      Degree choice offered: Psychology
      This is the most expensive school I have looked at. I love that its an Alliance school, I know people there, know people that know people from Redding, it's far enough away from home, but still close enough for a weekend trip if need be, the school has been great about working with me as much as possible, and all around its a great school. I have already turned in my application to this school.

Schools in Canada:
     Tutition is super cheap there, but they few schools I have looked at aren't as specific in the degree choices I'm looking for. I love that I'd be close to the relatives, and have great believing friends living near by. Still looking for a specific school.

SBS through YWAM located in either Montana, South Africa, or possible Taiwan.
      I LOVE this program. I considered this for quite a while because of the training I would get in God's Word. There is a prerequisite of attending their Discipleship Training School before SBS which I have not done. I emailed them about this and heard back that because of my participation in Capernwray, and service in the M.E. I would be considered once my application was finished, but I would earn any credit without doing a DTS first. This felt like a closed door to me, But maybe something to do after College before I head back out. Prayers about this are still appreciated.

Salem:
     This is Home. Community college is an option here, but I am not excited about at all. I love the place of fellowship I attend in Salem and the support I have be given from them. The community there has my heart, but unless all the other doors close, this is personally my last option.

Soooo, where you guys come in....

Prayers! PLEAASE! I am so thankful for all the prayer and support I have been given from hundreds of people over the years! Without the community of fellow believers, living for the Lord would be even more difficult, so thank you.

Specifically pray tomorrow. Its my day off, and it will be spent in prayers for doors to be open and shut this week specifically. My hope is to narrow it down to two schools to apply to this week. I've done a lot of research, and now its time to narrow it down.

The Lord revealed to me in a dream that He wants me to remember what He's done for me in the past, the ways He is working now, and to trust Him with what is to come. I felt so much peace this week that NO storm that comes my way is bigger than God, He will reveal to me what to do, and that He WILL provide for it. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and for journeying with me through this season and the transition that is to come.

"He is the same yesterday, today and forever."

I'm so thankful that when I first wrote this blog I was headed to New Zealand and the lessons God was teaching me then would be so applicable for so many seasons of my life.

The two major things I remember learning then was that:

1. God will lead through His Peace. 

2. To live for Today, and not worry about tomorrow. 

I had to remember this coming back from New Zealand when I felt as though going home was going to be a nightmare and I had no idea what I was supposed to do next. 

Then God lead me to the Middle East and not ONCE left my side during the confirmation of coming, or all the hurdles that need jumping in order to make moving to the other side of the world possible. 

NOT ONCE did He leave me alone. 

Yes, there were times when I felt like He wasn't hearing my complaints, anxious thoughts, and my doubting criticism. But as always He was faithful. He answered my prayers, and equipped me for the move, transition to a new community and journeyed with my through the mood swings and nasty behaviors that come with Culture Shock. 

And here I am again. Faced with the same question that comes up at the end of any season...

"Whats next?"

Well, I want to do what seems comfortable. Which for me is staying in Kstan, live with my best friend Stacy, teach English, and love on my local friends I have spent the last year getting to know.

But I don't want to be a longterm intern. 

Don't get me wrong...I have been so grateful for the opportunities that the Church, District office, Capernwray and now Life Center have given me to learn from great people who love their ministry and Our Father. I am a hands on learner, so I would never trade these experiences for anything.

But it's time for me to get my training with a degree intact to further my career in ministry.

So here I am, preparing my heart to wrap up my time with 

1.the local relationships that I have grown to love so much!

2. A team that has become my family

3. A Church fellowship that loves the Lord and has been such a solid community to be apart of

and journeying alongside a group of High School girls as they are begging God to show them what school they are to go to for college and what to study. 

^but literally, I am journeying with them as this is exactly what I'm trying to figure out. 

There are so many great schools out there, and programs that I can see myself doing. 

As I pray and pray about this, the number one thing I get from God is to seek "His face".....and "One season at a time."

So...

I just completed my application to Simpson University, as well as YWAM's School of Biblical Studies. 

I started my FAFSA application, but am finding some major roadblocks...

I made a list of other schools (all under $30,000 a year), their programs I would be interested in, and their tuition prices. 

and I have started emailing some of the schools from the list to see if it would be worth even applying to that school, ect. 

So prayers for this would be greatly appreciated. 

I don't know where I want to go, what specifically I want to study, or when the right time would be to go.

but what I DO know, is that God spoke to me in my dream last week very clearly. And to sum it up, he talked to me about Him being my first love and gave me an illustration of what that looks like:

(fully surrendering, sacrificing my achievements, loving Him above all things and people)

       

          as well as telling me to

Remember Where He has taken me, Where I am at, and to Trust Him with what is to come.

       
     He is in all of those things. 

I'll be home for Christmas, You can count on me

As most of you may already know, I was given the best Christmas present of all time! I surprised my family and flew home over break, and this is the story behind it!

A few months ago I was chatting with my roommate about her future trip home for Christmas break. I was not planning or even thinking in the slightest about the possibility to go home over the break. I knew I wasn't gone long enough, and finances didn't support that for this time of service. But after talking to her something started stirring that maybe I would be able to do the same. I prayed about it, talked with my Mom and decided that this isn't what I wanted to do, and didn't think it was the right thing for me.

I stopped thinking about this completely.

Then, about 3-4 weeks later I was helping at a marriage retreat outside the city with some friends that work for SP. I love going there because it's a refreshing place to stay and I feel like I can get some rest, even though I was babysitting for the retreat. That night I read in Job about dreams and how God speaks to us in out dreams. It had been highlighted from about a year ago now, when I was praying a lot and researching about whether or not God really does speak to me through my night visions. I closed my bible not thinking anything of it, and went to sleep.

Well, that night I dreamt about being at home for a couple weeks. Not unusual, I had done that multiple times since being in Kstan. But when I woke up, there was something stirring inside me that was different. I remembered the dreams  from before, and thought about the verse, and something just stirred that I was supposed to really looking into whether or not I could go home for Christmas. Usually when God is speaking to me about something, I cry. And boy were there tears that day.
I spent most of the day in prayer, but I didn't talk to my family about it because I didn't want them to get excited and then it not happen.

I knocked on some doors about whether or not it was okay for me to go home, and my answer was if my family wanted to fly me home, that was okay. But I didn't feel right about asking my family to do that, so I felt great that the door has been shut, and I could stay in Kstan over break.

Then, a family from the Body Of Christ contacted me about a Skype date. During our time together, they asked lots of questions about my time here, and if I have enough finances. I told them that I had just heard that I was fully fully funded, even to stay a couple months longer, and that I was super grateful for their willingness to give, but for this trip I was funded, but there will be more times that I will come overseas for this area of work if they still feel lead for that time.
It was a great conversation and I left feeling loved and supported through prayer by a fantastic family who loves the Lord.

Then a couple days later I got an emailing saying they would like to Skype again. We planned for a time and as soon as we got on, they told me that they want to fly me home for Christmas, but I have to keep it a secret and surprise my family!

I was shocked! So excited, and shocked! The Lord really had spoken to me through dreams, and made it clear as well as providing a way to go even though it didn't make sense to me. Also, this family was willing to give so much to bless me and my family with Christmas together!

I flew in on a Saturday morning and one of my best friends picked me up from the airport! It was so good to see her, and then she helped me coordinate a way to get the whole family together for the surprise. She called them and said that this afternoon they were doing some voice recording stuff for Christmas eve and are in need of the families of those serving overseas to come in that afternoon. Somehow, it worked for my family during that time and they actually dropped everything to spare 30 or so min. for this recording. When Kara was telling them what we would be doing for the recording, I jumped out from behind the curtain and said surprise. It was AT LEAST 20-30 sec of silence.

THEY HAD NO IDEA!

Thanks a billion to the family that gave so that I was able to go home! My family also thanks you so much! Merry late Christmas!!