This past year was my first year out of High School. I lived at home, worked at Jamba Juice and attended Chemeketa Community College. I tried to get into the feel of Chemeketa and enjoy my time there, but it was horrible. I learned a lot, but not in my classes, just about life not always going the way we had expected. It was life outside of College that I was challenged, and it isn't until now that I am able to look back to see what God might of been trying to do, and possible how different my year could of been if I would of given 100% of my life up to him in the first place. You live and learn though right? He has used every single thing that happened this year to benefit me now, in the long run or more importantly-benefit himself.
I love the saying "He wrecked my plans, so that I can be more wreckless for his." I find it to be completely true in my life. I read it off a friends Facebook and it hit me so powerfully! Thats exactly what he did this year, as well as many others of course. I had ideas and things I desired. The biggest thing I thought I wanted was to go to Ambrose University in Calgary, Alberta. I have awesome friends and a lot of family there and I thought for sure Ambrose is what I wanted to do for fall 2010. I knew it would take a miracle to figure out loans and student visas and everything that comes with going to University, especially one out of my country, but I thought thats what I wanted to do. I also had the travel bug, but It was so important to me that I be in Calgary, I was willing to wait until later to travel, maybe do YWAM or Capernwray-Just get me in the Christian studies program at Ambrose!!!!
This is where God Steps in and informs me that he has something completely different for me. I had doubts and didn't feel a whole lot of peace about Ambrose, but I ignored it. Someone told me about an Adventure Bible School in New Zealand through the Bible program Capernwray. I applied for the fall ABS and to finish the term up with the other students. I didnt know if thats what God would want me to do, and I was extremely discouraged. It was between Ambrose, Capernwray, or another year at Chemeketa...and I had no idea how I was going to afford anything other than Community College, or how to hear Gods voice in what I was supposed to be doing.
So this one Tuesday morning, I went to meet my accountability group that I met with every Tuesday morning. My young but super wise leader told me to ask God for on specific thing, and that in one week he would either open that door, or completely shut it, and then I would know. I had no idea what that one specific thing should be, so I prayed and fasted all day for a direction to even be praying towards. (this is all new to me by the way-trying to actually hear his voice and making an effort to hear it.) That night I e-mailed Capernwray about my application and there was a few steps I guess I never completed, one of them being a reference form. Oh, and theres only one spot left in the school, and applications keep coming in!!! So I figure everything out, and I'm the first to get my application complete. (Theres more to this, but basically it was a God thing that I got all that done that night!) Then when I woke up the next morning, I felt zero peace about going to Ambrose. The thought about being there in the fall made me want to throw up, which isn't common when I think about being in Canada. I took this as my answer that I needed to be praying that in one week I would get accepted to Capernwray, if that be what God has for me in the fall.
So many people were praying for me, people would text me and say "hey, ive been thinking and praying for you a lot today, I hope things are going well!" and I didnt even tell everyone what I was doing. Monday night the following week, I get online to check my E-mails and my acceptance letter was there! woot woot! In one week God revealed that this is what he wanted me to do. Now it was just trusting that he take care of the rest.
Another confirmation was I prayed that if I wasn't supposed to go back to Chemeketa, some how I wouldn't get my scholarship back. As discouraging as it was, I didn't get to keep my scholarship because my grades weren't high enough, and I had tried to keep that as an option if for some reason God wasn't finished with me in Salem. But it confirmed that this was the direction I was supposed to go.
Wow. Thats a long post! But this is also how I got the name for my blog, "living for today." Im sick of planning sooo far ahead, making unrealistic plans that never come out the way I want them. All last year I lived in the future and just wanted out of Salem and I couldnt see all the incredible things God was using me for. I tried to see them, but I was stuck on getting out of here. I believe God has a plan for everything, and that he will use every situation Good or bad to bring him glory.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I can't believe this more after this past year. His power has been made SOOO perfect during my weakness. Praise Jesus for sharpening us up even when its hard and we can't see whats going on.
So thats how he wrecked my plans, so that I could be more wreckless for his, and boy, I sure am enjoying living for today and being lead by my Savior.
